I recently made some determinations for this year and the first one that I need to achieve is to get my blood pressure sorted out and that's within 3 weeks as I'm likely to be put on tablets on my next visit to the doctors. I'm not so against the idea that I would refuse, and if I need them, then I need them. However, I really want to avoid this if possible.
Basically before Xmas a chance visit to the doc revealed my BP to be really high. A week of exercise and better diet did bring it down but still pretty high and it's stayed similar ever since. A week or so ago, I bought a home BP tester and as I suspected, my BP is lower when taken at home, though once again, still too high. Through using that, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that it's predominantly anxiety which is the root cause of it and so decided to try to address that.
The first thing I did was to get some guidance regarding it from a Buddhist perspective which was really useful. I think the key phrase that summed it up for me was:
"I do believe that a high life state – or specifically Buddha state – does preclude anxiety. Anxiety must be an aspect of fundamental darkness – a lack of confidence in life and a lack of understanding of life causing low level fear. So daimoku must be the starting point, together with study and action for Kosen-rufu (shakubuku), all of which raise our life state."
I think it's the 'lack of confidence in life' bit that stood out for me ... although I'm fairly outgoing, my anxiety could well be a manifestation of that. With regards to the other bits .. my study is pretty good but my daimoku is a bit random if I'm honest.
We often hear of people chanting to be in rythm with the universe but it occurred to me that I'm not really even in rythm with my own life ... that was probably best summarised by the last two morning gongyos being done in the middle of the afternoon !! So, yesterday, I spent some time planning a new daily schedule starting with my alarm being set for 7am so that I could a) get an hours chanting done in the morning and b) get more work done while allowing time for other things. I am self employed and work from home which is great BUT, with that needs to come an element of self discipline .. something it seems I lack.
Anyway ... the new schedule looks quite do-able and also allows time for a swim/gym at lunch and an hours free time in the afternoon to read/watch TV/paint or whatever.
And then today, .... sansho shima kicked in ...
My alarm was set for seven but I woke at 5am .. probably because I ate really late after coming back from a buddhist meeting. I tried to get back to sleep but it just wasn't happening. Now, usually, if I don't get enough sleep, I'd simply scrap all my new schedule ideas and have a useless day instead and more than likely abandon the idea alogether, but today, I decided to stick to the schedule 'no matter what' ... so I eventually got up at 7am, having not slept since 5am, and did do an hours chanting with morning gongyo. The next bit of my plan was to go for a 15-20 minute 'walk to work' .. ie a walk round the block before starting work ... I usually find a bit of exercise relaxes me a bit ... of course, when I did the schedule, I was thinking of a nice stroll in bright sunshine ... and what was the weather like ? grey and drizzly .. once again, I'd normally think ... "manyana" .. but once again I decided to actually go for the walk and it was ok actually ... sun would have been better but !!!
The next challenge was the lunch time exercise ... I did consider not doing it as I was tired but as my BP was really high this morning, I thought it was probably wise to do some exercise to relax a bit ( I suspect it's high because of the lack of sleep but not sure) so once more .. I stuck to the schedule and went for a walk followed by a swim at the gym (fortunately realllly close by).
And then came the 'treat' bit (after a period of work of course .. I do actually do some ;).. I've allowed myself an hour in the afternoon to do something such as read or paint or something creative, however, today I decided to put my head down for half hour or so to catch up on sleep a bit .. well .. I deserve it :-) and that was nice .... though longer would have been nicer :)
And then back to work ... which I'm now coming to an end of. Just evening Gongyo to do at 6.30pm and I'll have succeeded in my first day or new routine.
So all in all, it's not been a great day but I guess that in itself is a small victory .. the fact that despite feeling like shite, I stuck to my schedule even though I really didn't feel like it .. and that's when I usually just give up ..... Is it a turning point .... let's see if I can keep it up :)
The Eternity of Life - A Discussion
Last weekend, I attended an SGI-UK study lecturers training day at Taplow Court. It was a really interesting talk by Mrs Takahashi, the European Study leader.
However, I really struggled with this one as it was predominantly (though not exclusively) about the Eternity of Life which is a subject that I find difficult. When I say difficult, I don't mean difficult as in dealing with death etc but how the whole process of the eternity of life works.
As those who practise know, there are three proofs in this Buddhism; theoretical proof, documentary proof and actual proof, the 'actual' being the most important. I'm sure all of us who practise have had 'actual' proof that the practise works, otherwise we wouldn't practise .. would we !!
However, and this is where it gets a bit confused for me. It is of course, impossible to have actual proof of the eternity of life .. no one has come back and told us what happens etc and at the same time, though scientists can tell us when brain waves stop, they can't tell us what happens to the 'life force' that was there.
Now, I'm not a complete sceptic on this .. I think this explanation is as good as any and more plausable than most and I do believe that lifeforce doesn't just vanish on death and continues in some form or other .. the thing I can't get my head round is how it then 're-establishes' itself ... My own thoughts are that either a) it becomes a part of the universal energy or b) that it simply exists in the form of peoples memories and the influences that we have left behind. For example, I don't believe that Martin Luther King has been 're-born', but I do believe that his memory and influences live on and that this has an effect on the current world, and I'm sure our own influences left behind will do so albeit possibly on a different scale. In many ways to be honest, I'd be ok with that.
If we take the 'energy as part of the universe' option though, what I really really struggle with is the bit that goes something like .... "and when the time is right, we are reborn" .!! I'm not saying this isn't the case but I can't quite put the bits together .... at what point and how does this happen ? As sperm ? while the babies in the womb ? once it's born ?.. and how does it get there ?... I know that sounds daft but it feels to me like a bit of the jigsaw is missing.
All that said, I'm not overly worried about it though if anyone can enlighten me, that would be great.
My own take is very similar to something Daisaku Ikeda once said (and this is from memory so not a quote as such). He said:
"The fact is that we don't know what happens after we die. Many religions have many different explanations but none can be 100% certain. However, what really matters is how a religions view of death makes us live our lives in the here and now"
So on that level, I'm happy with that, but thought I'd throw my thoughts out for possible debate ... any takers ?
However, I really struggled with this one as it was predominantly (though not exclusively) about the Eternity of Life which is a subject that I find difficult. When I say difficult, I don't mean difficult as in dealing with death etc but how the whole process of the eternity of life works.
As those who practise know, there are three proofs in this Buddhism; theoretical proof, documentary proof and actual proof, the 'actual' being the most important. I'm sure all of us who practise have had 'actual' proof that the practise works, otherwise we wouldn't practise .. would we !!
However, and this is where it gets a bit confused for me. It is of course, impossible to have actual proof of the eternity of life .. no one has come back and told us what happens etc and at the same time, though scientists can tell us when brain waves stop, they can't tell us what happens to the 'life force' that was there.
Now, I'm not a complete sceptic on this .. I think this explanation is as good as any and more plausable than most and I do believe that lifeforce doesn't just vanish on death and continues in some form or other .. the thing I can't get my head round is how it then 're-establishes' itself ... My own thoughts are that either a) it becomes a part of the universal energy or b) that it simply exists in the form of peoples memories and the influences that we have left behind. For example, I don't believe that Martin Luther King has been 're-born', but I do believe that his memory and influences live on and that this has an effect on the current world, and I'm sure our own influences left behind will do so albeit possibly on a different scale. In many ways to be honest, I'd be ok with that.
If we take the 'energy as part of the universe' option though, what I really really struggle with is the bit that goes something like .... "and when the time is right, we are reborn" .!! I'm not saying this isn't the case but I can't quite put the bits together .... at what point and how does this happen ? As sperm ? while the babies in the womb ? once it's born ?.. and how does it get there ?... I know that sounds daft but it feels to me like a bit of the jigsaw is missing.
All that said, I'm not overly worried about it though if anyone can enlighten me, that would be great.
My own take is very similar to something Daisaku Ikeda once said (and this is from memory so not a quote as such). He said:
"The fact is that we don't know what happens after we die. Many religions have many different explanations but none can be 100% certain. However, what really matters is how a religions view of death makes us live our lives in the here and now"
So on that level, I'm happy with that, but thought I'd throw my thoughts out for possible debate ... any takers ?
Buddhist Determinations
As a Buddhist, each new year, we make new 'determinations' for the year ahead. These are kind of similar in some ways to resolutions but are intended to be supported by our buddhist practise.
I have had quite a few in my head but maybe it's age as I keep forgetting them, so I'm going to list them below ... will be interesting to see how many I achieve !!
In no particular order:
1) To never miss morning or evening gongyo even if it's only a short one( ie the buddhist practise)
2) To read all 12 volumes of 'the human revolution' by the end of the year (currently on vol 2)
3) To look after my health, remembering that I'm no longer 20 (or even 30 or 40 !) and get my BP down
4) To earn more money and to double my biggest KR contribution next time
5) To have 10 new men or older young men practising in our chapter by the end of the year
6) To go and chant with one man in our chapter per week
7) To be in a relationship by May 3rd 2009
I have had quite a few in my head but maybe it's age as I keep forgetting them, so I'm going to list them below ... will be interesting to see how many I achieve !!
In no particular order:
1) To never miss morning or evening gongyo even if it's only a short one( ie the buddhist practise)
2) To read all 12 volumes of 'the human revolution' by the end of the year (currently on vol 2)
3) To look after my health, remembering that I'm no longer 20 (or even 30 or 40 !) and get my BP down
4) To earn more money and to double my biggest KR contribution next time
5) To have 10 new men or older young men practising in our chapter by the end of the year
6) To go and chant with one man in our chapter per week
7) To be in a relationship by May 3rd 2009
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